Sent: Saturday, April 11, 2015 1:55 PM
To: Betsy Odya
Subject: RE: Margaret's Birthday Bon Voyage Gathering

MY GREAT COSMIC DISAPPOINTMENT

By Mary Ellen Rentscher

 

Opening my eyes, I know it is Saturday at 9AM.  A good night’s sleep feels so good, I think to myself.  Been looking forward to getting together with cousins all week for Margaret’s Birthday Bon Voyage Gathering.  I know it is 9AM, because for some reason my brain has always been good at determining the time of day.  Knowing I have sufficient time before the 11:30 gathering, I decide to wake up slowly and luxuriate in the morning a bit.  A few minutes later I raise my head to check out the clock.  It’s 10:23!  That’s a problem!  I know the drive to Waukesha will take at least 45 minutes.  I had planned to stop and pick up a sweet card on my way.  Well, I can write my own card, that is no problem.  Just have to hurry and get going.

 

“JIM! It’s almost 10:30!”  Jim turns over and says he doesn’t think he can make it – not feeling well at all.  I’m disappointed, but understand.  He wasn’t feeling well yesterday either.  Plus, he would never be able to get out of the house with the speed that was going to be needed. 

 

OK, I tell myself, 2 immediate setbacks to the morning already.  That’s OK, because I can still make this and I’m looking forward to seeing all my cousins, even if it is without my wonderful husband.  

 

Jump in the shower, throw on a minimal (but essential) amount of makeup, let the dogs out, grab a blank card from the ‘card drawer’ to write a loving note in when I get to the restaurant, jump in the car.  It is now 10:50.  I can still make this, even, if I’m a few minutes late.  Hoping traffic is light. 

 

On the way, I am composing what I will write in the note.  Feeling just a bit melancholy at having to say goodbye.  Then I realize it’s NOT goodbye, it’s just “see you later!”  Feeling better. 

 

Traffic IS light!  JOY!!  No police cars to detect me going 10 MPH over the speed limit.  MORE JOY!  Looking at the clock, I know I am even going to be 5 minutes early!  Luckily for me, I had asked Jim the night before what time the party started on Saturday, and he reminded me it was at 11:30.  Even luckier for me, I firmly recall googling the location of the restaurant a week or so before, so I knew exactly where I was going.  Ching Hwa restaurant in Waukesha.  I lived in Waukesha many years ago, and was confident I knew exactly where it was.  I recall it having been closed many years ago, but, I say to myself, it must have re-opened.  WHY this restaurant was locked in my head as the location, I do not know.  I only know that I am 100% certain I have the correct place in my head.

 

I put on my blinker at 11:25 to turn into their parking lot.  Then I see clearly that it is closed.  My brain begins to race to develop a plan.  No problem…I have my cell phone and can easily go into our emails that I forwarded to Jim at our home email address (rentscherz@sbcglobal.net) to check on the location, which CLEARLY I have incorrect!  I feverishly spend the next 20 minutes searching for the email.  Would Jim have deleted it?  Could be, as he knows I would have the info on my work email, there would be no critically important reason for him to KEEP the email.  However, I know that I cannot access my work email from my cell phone.  Keep searching….look at DELETED folder.  Look at INBOX folder.  Look at every other folder.  Clearly, the email is not here. 

 

Not defeated yet, I google CHING HWA.  Probably relocated to somewhere else in Waukesha.  Nope.  I DO see the New China Buffet listed, and it’s very close by.  I can just go there and see if that is the spot.  No, I’m CERTAIN it was Ching Hwa.  Now, it is 12:00.  I’m beginning to feel so disappointed that I want to cry.  I look in my phone contacts to see if I have any of my cousin’s phone numbers listed.  Not even one.  So now, I DO begin to tear up.  Most certainly, the party is into full swing.  I picture everyone seated and already enjoying good food and wonderful conversation.  How long will the party go on?  It’s no use.  I am now despondent and immensely disappointed.  WHY I DO NOT AT THIS POINT JUST DRIVE TO NEW CHINA BUFFET TO CHECK IT OUT, I DO NOT KNOW.  How can I salvage this?  I surrender to my disappointment.  I’m angry at myself for my lack of preparedness.  I’m angry at myself for sleeping so late.  I head for home.

 

That’s my day so far.  On the way home, I am telling myself to get a grip.  I won’t get to hug my cousins today, or to tell Margaret how much I love her and that I will miss her and wish her all the best.  Or to tell her that I’m grateful for the internet because I know we will still be able to stay in touch over the miles.  Or to tell her that Jim and I bought an RV last year with the hope of soon traveling all over North America, and now we are excited that we will have someone to visit in Alaska!  It is what it is.  I’m not going to beat myself up over this anymore.  Just one of those things where all the perfect storm items come together to create a change in my plans.  I will write out my thoughts and send an email when I get home.  Perhaps it will even make them laugh at my misadventure and smile knowing that I was there with them in spirit, and that I love them and am so grateful to have them in my life.  And I know that we will still move forward and share future memories.  Today will just not be one of the better memories for me.

 

MARGARET, JIM AND I ARE SO VERY EXCITED FOR YOU!  WE LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE IN ALASKA.  WE LOOK FORWARD TO VISITING YOU THERE SOMEDAY.

 

BETSY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ARRANGING THIS.  WE ARE SO SORRY WE DIDN’T GET TO SAY THIS IN PERSON. 

 

I have the card in my purse, and Jim and I are going to write a note in it and get it in the mail to Betsy’s address.  I know you will get it safely in Margaret’s hands.

 

Love,

 

Mary Ellen and Jim