From: Mary Ellen Rentscher
Sent: Wednesday, July 08, 2015 3:15 PM
To: 'Kelly Rentscher'; 'Molly Rentscher'; Jamie Rentscher; Beth Rentscher; 'rentscmj@uwec.edu'; 'j_holmblad@hotmail.com'
Subject:
Sensitivity: Confidential

 

 

FIREWORKS FOR THE FOURTH

By Mary Ellen Rentscher

 

The week started out normally enough.  I had my list of “To-Do’s” all written out, day by day, with all of the things that needed to be done before the 30 or so friends and family were set to join us for a rousing fourth of July celebration that was just 8 days away.  Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday found me up early and as productive as hell, crossing off the items on my to-do list as planned.  Wash all wood floors.  Put things away.  Assemble the 13-foot gazebo on the patio.  Water plants inside and out, etc. etc.  By end of day Tuesday, I was actually a full day AHEAD of my schedule! 

 

But Wednesday found me completely exhausted.  I know myself well enough to know that I need to take some time-out and chill, and allow my body to recover a bit before jumping into the remainder of the list.  So, I did smaller tasks, like grinding up the ice for snow-cones  J and walking the dogs.  Jim was busy with the usual hard work outdoors.  When he finally came in the house at about 3PM, he mentioned that he once again was having some swelling on his face.  This had been occurring on and off for several months.  Each incident didn’t last too long (36 hours or so).  No fever.  No pain.  Just his face swelling up around his jaw.  Weird.  We had figured it was probably related to some tooth issues he was having, and in particular, he was going to be having some root canal work done.  Annoying, but we just assumed after the root canal, this swelling issue would stop.  We called his dentist, who prescribed amoxicillin, which had seemed to work in the past.  Clearly, it seemed,  there was some sort of infection in there.  I went to Walgreens and picked up the prescription, and at around 5:00 pm, Jim took two.

 

But when he came back in the house at 5:45, his face was REALLY swollen.  Much more so than the other times.  I took a picture with my cell phone, and we decided this was not the same as before.  We called the dentist’s cell phone and texted him the picture.  Jim and I had already decided to take him to the ER, or to a 24 hour clinic.  The dentist does not think this is related to his tooth, but also agreed the ER was the best course of action.

 

Let the dogs out, Jim took a quick shower (after working hard outside all day, this was truly a necessity), did a few other things I don’t even remember doing, and headed out to the clinic.  Took a quick pic of Jim’s face again, which is now swollen on both sides, and his lips look as if they are going to explode.  No swelling of tongue / mouth, just around the jaw, and now in his cheeks are fully swollen as well.  Still no pain, thank goodness, and no fever apparent.  Clinic is closed.  Huh.  Well, it just so happens that Aurora Medical Center / Hospital in Grafton is just down the street.  We go there

 

The usual procedures take place.  Take blood pressure.  Draw blood.  Tell the story.  While in the ER room, we again talk to the dentist via cell phone, and send him the most recent pic.  He definitely feels this is not due to a tooth issue, but probably some sort of allergic reaction.  Eventually, the doctors in the hospital come to the same conclusion.  I am feverisly googling Jim’s meds (analipril), and possible allergic reactions.  Interestingly, about 50% of people who have taken this drug for more than 5 years DO develop allergic reactions, including facial swelling.  Feeling better.  The doctors are concerned about the ‘movement’ of the swelling from one side of the face to another.  In particular, they are concerned that the swelling MIGHT move to the throat.  Which, (DUH) could be a problem.  Everyone agrees that Jim needs to be admitted to observe what happens.  They have given him steroids and antihistamines to stop the swelling.  They decide they want to monitor his heart for the night as well.  OK.  Monitor anything you want!  Just keep my love safe and by the way we still have 30+ people coming to our house in 3 days.  Jim and I totally agree that there are going to be many things for the party that are not going to get done.  So be it, and who cares anyway?  So far (at about 9pm), despite the meds, the swelling is not diminished, and actually continues to ‘move’ across his face.  He is still quite handsome to me.  J

 

We get Jim settled in his room, and sit and chat for a while.  Molly and Jamie have been texting Jim to discuss the plans and coordinate the weekend, so we call them back to explain what is going on, and try to reassure them not to worry.  By 10:30pm, I head back home.  Thank GOD this hospital is only a few minutes from home!  Kelly heard from Molly and Jamie about Jim, and texts me.  I give her the lowdown, and tell her to call Dad’s cell.  She does.  They have a nice conversation, and all is pretty well.  I do a few things at home, and finally at 3am I am tired enough to sleep!  It’s July 2^nd.  Jim calls me at 9:00 am.  J   So good to hear his voice, even though my head can hardly comprehend where the hell I am.

 

He tells me the doctor told him his heart rate went down to 45 during the night, which they are concerned about.  Plus, the swelling is diminished (and, THANK GOD, did not move to his throat), but still not gone completely.  They want to keep him there another night. 

 

I pack up a small kit to take to the hospital with a few essentials…toothbrush, razor, change of underwear, and a container with some beef jerky and maybe 6 oz of wine.  J   I get to the hospital around noon, and am relieved at how good Jim looks and feels.  We visit for a while, and he provides me with instructions on how to place sprinklers so the newly placed sod will not dry out.  I know I won’t get the chance to visit him later, and he understands this.  We can always talk on the phone, but there is far too much work to be done.  I spend the next 4 hours doing the food shopping, putting away.  3 stores, I have NO idea how much $$ I spend, but at this point I’m just on “GO” mode.

 

Beth calls after work.  I tell her what is going on with Jim.  I didn’t want to call / text her earlier, because she is having Initiation week at work, and has her hands full.  I know things are under control, so there is no reason to worry, I tell her.  Dad is staying at the hospital again tonight.  “WHAT?!”, she replies.  “Give him a call.”, I say, which she does.  J  They have a good conversation, and again, all is pretty well.

 

I’m at home, watering like a madman, setting up, putting away, chopping, prepping…fuck it.  I am totally not going to get any more than 10% of the food prep done.  Tomorrow is Friday, July 3, and we have plans to meet for dinner with a BUNCH of people at 6pm.  HAHA!!  All I can think of is Morton Salt’s motto…”When it rains, it pours.”  I move from one task to another, trying to plan, prioritize, pray and prep all at the same time.    I feel excited for the weekend’s festivities!  I feel grateful that Jim is going to be ok!  I feel full of anticipation of being reunited with so many of my family and friends in….JUST A FEW HOURS!!  Whatever.  I’m too old to fret.  I know things will be just fine.

 

Still can’t get to sleep until 2:30 am without my love beside me. 

 

Friday, July 3.  Jim calls at 9:23 am.  THEY ARE GOING TO LET HIM OUT AT LIKE 11 AM!!!  WOULD I COME TO PICK HIM UP?  WOOD EYE??  LOL ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!  Ummm, but wait a sec… Molly is coming in from Chicago at 10:30 and needs a ride from the Milwaukee downtown bus station.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA.  K, no prob….we’ll have Molly take a cab to Cedarburg.  I don’t care at this point if they charge me $1,000.  And then, I stop for a second, and thank GOD that I am so fortunate to be able to (on important occasions!), throw caution to the wind and pay whatever price is needed.  Wow.  I cannot believe how blessed I am.  I don’t know why we’ve been so blessed, but I know I will never take it for granted, or take advantage of it.  And will payback / pay forward whenever possible.

 

I see Jamie has sent a text with a picture of her cut finger with stitches.  Icky.  Looks sooooo painful.  Red and just a tad inflamed, and she wants to know what she should do.  I see Jim has already responded with some good advice.  J  I reply to Jamie that I agree with dad, and also forward the pic to my brother / nurse, Ralph, for any advice he can provide.  Wish I could google ‘caring for stitches’, but I can’t…no time for that. *sigh*

 

So, I tell Jim to call me when he is ready to be picked up from the hospital.  I frantically (yet, in organized fashion….right!), begin doing the most important things that need to be done.  And simply to hell with the rest of it.  Keep breathing, keep moving.

 

Molly safely arrives in Cedarburg.  J  I go pick up Jim from the hospital at around 11:30.  J  We all meet at the house and form a quick game plan.  What things are the most urgent?  What can wait?  What can’t?  Who can do what?  Yikes.  LOL.  We are all overwhelmed.  Molly puts the new Weber grill together.  GOD BLESS YOU, MOLLY!  Molly begins to wash the kitchen floor, WHICH IS COMPLETELY DISGUSTING!  GOD BLESS YOU, MOLLY!  Molly dusts the entire house, WHICH IS ALSO, COMPLETELY DISGUSTING!  GOD BLESS YOU, MOLLY!  Molly also vacuums the entire house, (which is only mildly disgusting).  GOD BLESS YOU, MOLLY!  We move furniture.  We chase dogs out of the way.  Jim is watering, cutting grass, organizing the bar, putting shit away, picking up canopies and chairs, etc.  It’s now 5:30 pm.  We are supposed to meet our family at The Roadhouse in 30 minutes.  No, wait…I remember we had to change the location last minute because we found out Roadhouse will not be open on July 3.  We are now meeting at Milwaukee Ale House in Grafton, now in 29 minutes.  I haven’t even showered, and yes, that is a mandatory activity after furiously running around for the past 2 days.  Miraculously, the phone rings.  Our guests are running a bit late, too!  We’ll meet between 6:15 and 6:30.  I feel like I’ve just received an execution pardon from the Governor.  Shower, dress…oh, wait a minute.  Almost forgot that I’m supposed to set up 10 chairs along the parade route.  Cedarburg won’t allow you to do this before 7:00 pm on July 3^rd.  Rejiggering….rejiggering… ok, everyone else go to Milwaukee Ale House by 6:30, and I will meet you there after I load 10 chairs and 30 feet of rope into my car, drive to Cedarburg to the pre-arranged spot, unload and tie up the chairs.  Done.  Check.  Get to restaurant.  Go upstairs to the Rentscher table.  THERE’S JAKE AND SHELLY AND NEA!  AND THERE’S LISA AND JIM RUSSEL!!  Lisa is fighting a very aggressive form of cancer, and we weren’t sure she would feel up to attending.  And she looks really good!!  I’m introduced to Jim Russell’s sister, Ann, who has joined also. J  AND THERE’S MATT AND JESSICA AND HOLDEN AND HENRY AND HARRISON!!  AND MOLLY, ALEX, AND JAMIE ARE HERE TOO!  LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN!! 

 

We have a wonderful dinner, full of so much good conversation, laughter and reconnecting that my heart already feels full.  I get teary eyed reflecting again on how blessed we are, and how many wonderful people we share our lives with.

 

Finally back home with Jim, Molly, Alex, and Jamie, I think maybe it’s like 9pm?   All the friends / family are staying at nearby hotels.  And to think that I was going to offer them to stay at our place.  This thought makes me laugh out loud, because I think that would have been the death knell for me if they had.  Beth arrives home from Eau Claire.  Most of my ‘nucleus’ family is finally reunited.  I want to just stop and enjoy this moment.  And then I remember that I have prepared basically NONE of the food for tomorrow, and the parade starts at 10am, so people will be arriving by 9:30am tomorrow morning.  Here is where my family really proves what they are made of…we begin pulling food out from fridge, pantry, shopping bags, nooks and crannies.  I basically point and yell “YOU!  FILL VEGETABLE TRAY!”  “YOU!  PREPARE FRUIT SALAD!”  “YOU!  MAKE THIS RECIPE FOR SANGRIA!”   “DEFROST BURGERS AND BRATS…MAKE SLOPPY JOE…SET UP TABLE WITH PLATES NAPKINS PLASTICWARE NUTS PRETZELS CUPS FEED DOGS FILL AND RUN DISHWASHER GET OUT MORE SERVING BOWLS AND SPOONS WHERE ARE THE BALLOONS AND OTHER DECORATIONS AND PUT THE FUN STUFF FOR THE KIDS INTO A BIG BASKET BUT FIRST TAKE TIME OUT TO BLOW UP ONE OF THOSE BEACH BALLS AND VOLLEY IT WITH THE KIDS A FEW TIMES OVER THE ISLAND NOW GET BACK TO WORK YEA NOT GOING TO HAVE TIME TO MAKE THE KEY LIME CUPCAKES OR THE BRANDY SLUSHIES AND SOMEONE HAS TO MIX UP A BATCH OF SIMPLE SYRUP FOR THE SNOW CONE SYRUP!!”

 

Done.  I think it’s 2:30 in the morning.  And I think the date is actually July 4.  Sleep, glorious sleep.

 

Somebody wakes me up at 9:30am and tells me my sister, Janine, and her boyfriend, Robert, are downstairs.  Time to GET THIS PARTY STARTED.  I roll out of bed, put on at least cleaner clothes, put a hat on my head and go downstairs.  I hardly know where I am.  Not only are Janine and Robert standing in the kitchen with like 4 dozen cupcakes (GOD BLESS YOU, SIS), but my 2 awesome nephews are there too!  We sit outside and I think I offered them coffee.  Maybe not.  But I know I had a cup.  Drink coffee.  Catch up with Luke, Josh, Janine and Robert.  Feeling better except for the fact that I still cannot quite see out of both eyes yet.  Ann, Jim and Lelia Purky arrive!  Jim and Lisa Russell arrive!  Gail, Hyram, Lauren and Brandon Gutierrez arrive!  Matt, Jessica, Holden, Henry, Harrison, and their baby Newfoundland “Norman” arrive!  I think others arrive too.  We can hear the parade starting (sirens, guns).  Somewhere around 10:30 or 11, we all make it to the parade route. 

 

To be continued

It is an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous day!  My plan was to have us all walk over together, but that’s not going to work, because some groups are ready / anxious before others.  So they begin to stream down the road toward the parade in separate groups of 3, 4, or 5.  I’m hoping that by some miracle (since I’ve already been witness to several this week)  we will all meet up.  Lisa and Lelia will need a ride to the parade route, which is about 3 blocks away, as they can’t walk that far.  Molly (my hero, once again) jumps in the car with me, Lisa and Lelia…someone, thankfully, remembers to put Lisa’s walker in the trunk, and off we go.  I’ve lived here almost 16 years, and I’m pretty sure I know EXACTLY which roads will be closed, and quickly calculate a route that will get them as close to those chairs I set up last night as possible.  I smile smugly to myself, and navigate my planned route.  I know the beginning of the parade will already be almost to the end of the parade route, which is only a block away from our chairs.  My plan is to take them to the corner where they end the parade and make a left hand turn past the VFW and Girl Scout house, where all the busses are parked with their motors running to pick up the marching bands.  As I make a right hand turn onto Spring street, I see, much to my surprise, that the parade route has apparently changed, and the parade has not taken that left hand turn, and is instead marching directly down the street I just turned onto!  (Yes, I just drove around that “Road Closed” sign.)  I’m not feeling quite as smug right now, as fire trucks and marching bands coming toward us are all wondering WTH is this crazy lady doing?  Is she going to run us over?  Should we all move out of the way for her??!!  Hoping no one will recognize me behind the wheel, I quickly pull over as much as possible and “calmly” tell my passengers (whose eyes are now the size of saucers) to GET OUT HERE!.  It’s almost a two block walk from here to where I left the chairs, but there’s not much I can do about that now.  Molly helps Lelia and Lisa out of the car, quickly grabs the walker, and everyone attempts to make their way to the curb.  Meanwhile, I am gingerly backing back down the street to get the HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY before they reach my bumper and just begin to walk over my car.  Crisis averted…well, nearly, anyway.  I’m praying those 3 ladies will safely be able to make their way the 2 blocks to where I told them the chairs were. 

 

I manage to park the car (illegally, of course) a block away and pray again that it won’t be towed while I quickly try to join ‘the group’.  Our chairs are right where I left them the night before, and we only have to chase 4 or 5 people off of them.  Most everyone has made it to the spot!  And a few others who didn’t find ‘the spot’, managed somehow to see some of us walking to ‘the spot’, and followed.  Such an intelligent bunch!  Now, it’s time to enjoy the parade, the company, and the beautiful weather. Sun gets pretty hot, and I worry about the smaller kids getting a sunburn.  Then I remember – they already have very capable and loving moms’ of their own, who, I am certain, have prepared for this possibility.  I begin to relax and enjoy the show. 

 

My sweet husband delivers a bloody mary into my hands, freshly made from the T.J. Weislers bar across the street.  Yes, it was no accident that I selected this spot.  They have the best bloody’s in Cedarburg! 

 

It’s a long parade in Cedarburg, usually about 2 hours.  But of course, by this time it is roughly half over.  No worries.  Plenty to enjoy.  30 minutes later, Beth asks me if I can take her for a run to Walgreens.  Yes, no matter how hard we all try to ‘be prepared’, sometimes Mother Nature decides that today, indeed, RIGHT NOW!, is when your monthly period will begin.  Been there.  Done that.  I hand my bloody mary (no pun intended) to Robert who is more than happy to oblige, and off we go to Walgreens.  Very glad I only parked a block away.  Even more glad that I didn’t get towed!  The streets in Grafton are nearly empty, because, of course, everyone is in Cedarburg!  We pick up the necessities and go back to the house, which is actually on the way back to the parade.  I look at the clock and see it is 10 minutes before noon.  By the time we get back, I’m certain the parade will be over.  LOL again.  So, I decide to just stay here and get the sloppy joe heating up and start pulling things out of the fridge in anticipation of when all my now-hungry guests begin finding their way back from the parade.  20 minutes of quiet and calm!!

 

The afternoon was a whirlwind of activity, conversation, and pure enjoyment.  Badmitton, kayaking (nearly accident free), dogs (nearly accident free – sorry, Hiram J), children…I sit and actually VISIT with every individual I can.  I even get to sneak away to a quiet room with Lelia where we can have a private conversation and she shares more of her writings with me.  Life cannot be more satisfying than this.

 

Food is abundant, and many people have also brought dishes to pass (intelligent AND thoughtful bunch!).  There is a momentary setback when a dessert dish launches itself out of the refrigerator and onto the floor, spilling it’s blueberries and strawberries literally everywhere.  I’m sure there are still some under the refrigerator as I write this.  Nothing, no, NOTHING could spoil this afternoon for me!  Well, until Molly and Beth pull me aside and tell me that 2 nephews (ages 8 and 5) had ventured upstairs to the bedrooms and had noticed that Jim’s rifles were laying on the floor of the closet (unloaded and safely secured in zippered carriers).  But for just that split moment, I think my heart completely stopped beating until I realized everyone was safe and the situation was under control.  Still, I went upstairs and moved those rifles to the gun cabinet, and then the girls and I turned the cabinet to face the wall so no one would see what was in there.

 

Once I was able to resume breathing, I rejoin the festivities already fully in progress.  Many more people have arrived (Nuan, Bob, Yao, Dan, Arun, Siri, Midchi, Rochelle and their BEAUTIFUL 11 month old daughter Belle, whom I have never laid eyes on before this moment), Ralph, and Diane.  Jim, as always, does a masterful job on the grill, and it appears that everyone has been temporarily satisfied.  Me too.

 

(ED. NOTE:  The following can be deleted so as to protect the identity of the innocent.  Or not.  It makes for a good and meaningful story.)

 

I don’t know what time the first round of fireworks began.  It wasn’t quite dark outside yet, but I had become increasingly aware of intense conversations going on in the kitchen while some of my (intelligent, thoughtful, and HELPFUL) guests were doing some cleaning up.  I first noticed her already getting past the point of ‘tipsy’.  Hey, this woman is a saint in my eyes, so no way am I going to judge her ‘cutting loose’ once in a while. 

 

But as the night went on, it became clear that she was wayyyyy past that tipsy point.  (Unpleasant) personal experience told me this would not have a pretty ending.  It did not.  At just about the time that full darkness DID come, and many of our guests were sitting in the backyard or on the pier enjoying what they could of the fireworks through the trees, Beth and I each took a side of this saint, and began to take a walk around the block to hopefully help her clear her head.  Well, that was when ALL the fireworks exploded.  She was full of (besides too much liquor) resentment and anger, primarily towards her husband.  Yes, in my eyes, he is a saint too.  It was very clear that all was not pleasant in Pleasantville.  By the time we returned from our walk, the Cedarburg official fireworks had ended, and many of the guests were leaving or had left.  Actually, that was a blessing, because I did not want to deal with the interactions between the two groups.  Shortcutting for the sake of sparing the reader (and me), the night ended with the entire family staying overnight.  But not before significantly more drama / tears took place. 

 

If any good things can result from such a sad situation, they did.  That night, Molly and Beth and I had some very painful, but REAL, discussions about many of the truths and ugliness about life.  Make no mistake, they themselves have seen glimpses of the ugliness.  Our discussions were heartfelt, painful, but meaningful.  Life lessons at their most profound.

 

Fast forward to the next day.  I’m happy to have these wonderful people with me still, and grateful to be able to provide some support and comfort.  After breakfast, we say our goodbyes.  The rest of the day is clean up.  Picking up every item brings back a wave of memories of the day before.  Despite some of the tragedy and sadness of the day’s occurrences, I am grateful, once again, for every single person that was here.  And for every hug and conversation.  I know these memories will be some of the most profound, even wonderful, of my life. 

 

(ED NOTE: Can resume story here, if above is chosen to be removed.)

 

Wow, I am glad I took Monday off!  I can’t imagine how I would have been able to function back at work!  Besides, there still remains much to be done to clean up, and there are rental items that need to be returned.  Jim asks if Beth and I can return the chairs and canopies to West Bend.  Nooooo problem, I think to myself.  Then on the way back, Beth and I can pick up a bite to eat!  She has a dentist appointment at 2PM in Cedarburg.  Plenty of time to complete a task and incorporate a bit of fun.

 

On the way to West Bend, we hit some fast moving and significant storms.  Unexpected and alarming, we carefully make our way.  We drop off the canopies and chairs and turn for home.  Well, lunch, actually.  We have about 1 mile to go to get to the main street.  It feels like a gust of wind hits the trailer, as it begins rocking VERY violently from side to side!  I’m terrified it is going to jackknife, possibly even causing the Subaru to flip on its side!  I immediately take my foot off the gas, do not brake, keep steering wheel straight!  It feels like it goes on forever before we begin to slow.  I turn on the flashers and make my way to the curb.  Thank God there is not much traffic. 

 

Beth and I realize that the trailer cup has come off of the ball of the tow hitch.  I have no idea if I am even saying that right, but anyway, we reattach, making sure the ball and hitch are now locked on, and we make our way again.  Slightly shaken (not stirred).  We make a right hand turn onto the main road, and merge into traffic.  Suddenly, we hear another VERY loud noise, and I can feel the ‘drag’ on the car, as AGAIN something is horribly wrong with the trailer.  We are fortunate to move to the curb (even in a legal parking zone!), put on the flashers and take another look.  This time, the entire tow bar has been pulled from the car hitch!  If it were not for the chains being securely linked, that flipping trailer would have been disconnected from the car and heading straight down the road for any cars behind us!!  I think my heart just stopped beating again, realizing that at any moment on the way over here or more recently on our attempt to get home, if that trailer had disconnected from the car, someone could have been killed.  Beth and I both begin to realize how awful this could have turned out, and once again grateful to have avoided disaster somehow. 

 

We call Jim and figure out a plan of action.  Call the dentist to cancel that appointment.  The idea of a lunch is now forgotten.  Beth and I unhitch the trailer, and go to a nearby Ace Hardware.  A wonderful angel, John, listens to our tale of woe and spends the next 30 minutes helping us find the right pieces of equipment to safely reattach the trailer and get on our way.  Just that simple.  By the time Beth and I get home, all we can do is be grateful to BE home.  Total cost for the repair piece…$1.95.

 

So, that was my fourth of July expedition.  Wanted to share it, just because, well, it just seemed surreal from one end to the other!  I feel like one very, VERY lucky woman, on so many levels.

 

Hope you have many safe and happy holidays going forward. Me too.